I'm a worrier.
I worry about doing a good job for my customers. I worry about saving enough money for both a house and for retirement. I worry about my cat escaping from open windows, even though she hates the outdoors. I worry about my grandparents' health. I worry about my husband dying in a freak bicycling accident on his way home from work. And I worry about my broken foot.
As it turns out, worriers should not research their medical problems on the internet.
In about 10 minutes of googling, I managed to find dozens of horror stories about broken fifth metatarsals. Either the writers' bones never healed, or the bone took 6 months to heal, or they had to have painful surgery because the bone wouldn't come back together. I read stories about people who broke their foot years ago, but still suffer from crippling foot pain.
Basically, I managed to give myself a minor freakout, even though I've also heard lots of stories about people who broke their foot and recovered quickly and completely. Funny how easy it is to ignore those stories.
So, why do I spend so much time stressing out about something that's probably going to be no big deal? Here's my theory: Being the control freak that I am, worrying is my way to control situations that I can't do anything about. If I think about every possible worst case scenario, I can't possibly be taken by surprise, no matter how horrible the news is.
Unfortunately, this strategy also causes a whole lot of unnecessary stress and sleepless nights... there are very few times I can think of where the worst-case scenario actually happened. Am I the only neurotic person who does this?
It's a good thing that I'm going to the doctor on Thursday, which will be exactly eight weeks and three days since I first broke my foot. I'll get to see a fresh x-ray, and I'll get to talk with the orthopedist about how things are going. Hopefully, there will be progress, and some solid answers, so I can take a break from worrying for a while.
In the meantime, does anyone have a good broken-bone story to share?
8 comments:
Remember I went 10 days with a broken elbow before I realized it was probably broken and when to the doctor. Dr. said I'd probably have athritis in it, but that hasn't happened yet! And it works just fine.
Now where in the world did you ever get that worrying gene?
OK, here's another happy story. One of my clients broken the same bone in her foot when she was in her 50's. She was 8 weeks in a cast, and everything healed fine and no throbbing pain when the weather changes. You're much younger and have better bones.
I'm sure I know exactly where the worrying gene came from. ;-). Thanks for the stories!
I'm a hard core worrier, too. Last fall when my mom had her stroke I googled the shit out of it because there was nothing else I could do from 700 miles away and succeeded in completely freaking myself out.
My worrying is definitely my crazy brain's attempt to control everything. If I can think of every possible scenario then I will always be prepared, right? Yeah, and I'll never get any sleep and end up having a stroke at 55 like MY source of worrying genes did.
I've found that Buddhism helps. It reminds me to live in and enjoy the present moment and not constantly worry about the future and past. Also, Lexapro. And, uh, my little green friend. Nothing better to stop the cycling worry thoughts. It also helps when I have trouble falling asleep when my brain won't shut off, hehe.
Cassie: At first, when you said "little green friend" I thought you were making some kind of alien joke. I was confused for a second, but I eventually figured it out. :-)
How's your mom doing now?
Also, this topic made me think of Shel Silverstein's 'Whatif' poem. I didn't really get it when I was a kid, but I definitely understand it now.
I LOVE this blog! Two things
1) NEVER, EVER, EVER trust WebMD or any other medical site if you're sick/think you're sick, etc. I recently had some stomach issues. I used the "symptom" checker on WebMD and they told me I was either pregnant, had recently had Botox or had gallbladder issues.
None of the above were correct, but I was terrified (except for the Botox thing.. I was pretty sure that hadnt happened)
2) Funny broken bone story: When I was 21 I went on Spring Break w/my friends. We were dancing on a platform and I had these ridiculously high wedge sandals on.
As I was stepping off the stage, my shoe got caught and I fell to the ground. The DJ stopped the music and everyone stared at me. I was rolling around the dancefloor holding my foot with a skirt on!! I got up, danced the rest of the night on it, walked home, etc.
I woke up in the middle of the night and literally couldn't walk. We had to go to the hospital in Panama City, FL to find out I had a broken foot! I'm not sure if it's the same bone you broke, but it was definitely a PAIN!
Cari: Too many of the broken bone stories I've heard have involved Spring Break. :-)
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